I have a sense of humor like the next gal. So does one of my members. Yesterday, she sent me one of those email forwards. It got me laughing out loud at first, until I realized some of this resonated a little too close to home. Still it was sent in good fun and so I pass on to you pastors (and congregations) out there. Here goes.
Good News and Bad News For a Pastor
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Presbyterian Women voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elders accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Executive Presbyter.
Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.
Now, I don't know about you, but where there is some truth in these "funnies," I felt my face flush. We actually are looking for a new choir director, and some of the praise team DID mutiny last year.
However on reflection, God is always up to something good in every so-called bad situation. Bad news is relative, isn't it? Bad news to some is good news to another. Bad news can be a wake up call. Bad news can cause us to face our fears, consider the other person's angle, and evaluate our own poor judgment. Bad news may be a way of affirming something God is trying to tell you.
Take for instance the one about attendance going up while you're on vacation. If a pastor believes everything revolves around her preaching, then she has put herself at the center of worship, not God. Perhaps the Spirit was waiting for her to get out of the way...
Maybe God has something to say through Beavis and Butthead. Craig Detweiler, Professor at Fuller has devoted his career to exploring God in culture and indeed, would say "Preach it, Beavis!"
And if we truly believe that it is God who calls one to serve, could it be that the critical member was actually called to the EP position because of this gift? The gift of telling it like it is in a time when straight talk, critical reflection, and difficult conversations are called for? And could it be that the pastor's job description was the work of the Holy Spirit's vision for change in the life of the church, and in the life of the pastor?
At the end of the day, bad news may be truth that transforms.
I would like to assume that the youth group targeted my house because I was cool.
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