I've been on study leave since Wednesday, in part to get caught up on reading, to plan Lent and Easter services, consider a long range planning process for SBPC. We call it study leave, but for me this leave has also been a Sabbath of sorts. More like a week of Sundays, lived in Old Testament obedience, like we're reading about now in our Covenant Groups. I've been trying to keep these Sabbath days holy - with worship and the word, sleeping late, a nap or two, reconnecting with my family, plus deeper reading and prayer. A time for rest, from the phone, email, church, housework. That was the plan for my week of Sundays.
It's been interrupted somewhat - a granddaughter rushed to the emergency room, a personnel issue at a ministry I serve as board chair, caring for my ill mother, comforting a few discouraged folks.
But I've also been able to listen carefully to the Lord. He has spoken to me through the word - Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Numbers as I review the 10 commandments, the purity laws, and marvel at the precision and beauty of the tabernacle. I have heard the Lord as Israel wandered and grumbled in frustration toward the Promised Land. God has spoken to me through the interruptions. God has spoken to me in my dreams and my doubts, in my inquiries and my worries. God has spoken through my husband and God has spoken to me through my flesh. God has spoken to me in the silence, and in the thunder. God has spoken to me in my fatigue. And this is what God is telling me.
I will have no other gods before ME - not the church, not the blessings or your disappointments, not your friends or family. Not your gifts or passions or your dreams for your church. I desire first that you rest in me. And only then can I get your attention.
I am also hearing God telling me, I am God and you are not. I will provide. I was struck by Moses, always insecure and tired and discouraged as he led the people out of Egypt. But God provided instruction and signs and others to help. The Israelites were enslaved and constantly pursued by the enemy, but God always went before them. They were near death more than once, and God always provided food and light and protection. They were stiff-necked and rebellious, and most of them never made it to Canaan, but the next generation did. Leaders died and God raised up new ones. Promise fulfilled. Presence assured. Power Divine. God's way.
I realize I am weary carrying my dreams and responsibilities, plans and decisions, even in my loving, with too little resting in God. I will finish my Sabbath leave, and I know God will grant me more rest, more love and more direction for the future.
God knows the plans He has for me and you and the church - to prosper not to harm...Jer. 29:11.
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Resting in the Lord is not easy in our hectic lives. Phone calls, work demands, emails, text messaging, carting kids to all kinds of functions, the list goes on and on. Our lives can be lost in the expectations of others, as well as ourselves. Yet God says we shall have no other gods before him. His call on our lives is first and foremost. His expectations are the ones that matter most. We just miss it in our "busyness."
We all need a sabbath rest now and then to rediscover God's presence and the peace that is found there with him. Even if we are unable take time off work or family needs, he has nevertheless promised a Sabbath rest for us. We can find it in a quiet time of reading and prayer before we start each day. We can find it in moments of grace that follow us throughout the day if we will tune into them. We can close each day with a prayer of thanks and find hope for tomorrow. If we stop and listen, we will hear God's voice whispering in our hearts of his love for us.
Pastor Lyn quoted Jeremiah and it's true. God does have plans for our good, for our future hope, and for the here and now. We just need to pray for God to lead us into his Sabbath rest where he is waiting.
Amen, Susan.
Another way I am resting is in nesting. Sounds silly, but I'm a nester. I cleaned out my make up drawer last night. I arranged a bowl of red and green apples Sunday afternoon. I'm making a huge pot of chili. Fresh candles are in my candle holders.
I have also gone through old photos - from 4 generations. As I handle the fragile sepia photos with curled edges, of faces I'm told are part of my DNA, I reconnect in a bigger way with humanity and with family. "The great cloud of witnesses" I'm holding in my hand and heart, witnesses to other times and events under the sun, with God. I feel small, and significant at the same time in my little nest.
Nesting for me is resting in the past, reflecting on the present, and hoping in the future - with God and with others. It's not all about the chili or the candles, the photos or the reorganization. But this all does remind me it is about the simple nourishment of love and relationships, shared in the light of Christ. It's about priorities and getting out of my life all that hinders, is of no use to God.
Nesting is resting, and resting is nesting - in the Lord.
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